Date Your Best Friend

You found her! The woman you want to spend the rest of your life with. When she is near, you hear the birds sing, see the flowers bloom, and you walk around all day on cloud nine, the slightest hint of her perfume is enough to make your knees weak. You sir, are in love. Your life is perfect, except for one little thing, this girl is not your girlfriend, but just a friend, maybe even your so called best friend. You have been there for her countless times, through the break ups, the drunken nights, and her family drama. She has even told you that she wishes she could find a guy out there just like you, but try as you might, you've never been able to work up the courage to let your feelings be known to this girl. You're scared of rejection, scared of how it might affect the friendship, or you don't think you're good enough for her. There is only one solution to your problem, you have to move on. It’s the only way you can save yourself and have any possibility of dating this girl.

I know what you’re thinking. If you date other girls then you won’t show your loyalty to your friend and she may lose respect for you. Or if she becomes available again, you will lose your chance scoop her up when she is available. If this sounds like your story, then you have become a victim of oneitits. Oneitis is the disease of men everywhere. To become so infatuated with one woman that you put your life on hold for her. To give up the pursuit of other women in order to devote all your time and attention to this one girl. Don’t get me wrong, our ultimate goal is to find the woman of our dreams. Oneitis strikes its ugly head, when we give everything up and we don’t end up the girl. When all our time and effort is wasted chasing a dream and we end up with nothing. But this book is about getting the girl and I have just the plan to get you what you want.

At this point you might be thinking, well, if I just use the basic strategy she should be mine right? Wrong! If we had used the basic strategy from day one of meeting this girl, yes we would have her. But because of your past actions we now have months and years of a pre existing relationship that needs to be torn down before we can start building it back up. From the moment we meet someone first impressions are made. If we come off flirty and fun the first time you meet, every meeting after that she will expect you to flirt with her. If we are serious, friendly, and respectful, like an older brother, then she will see you as non threatening and an overall nice guy, but not a man worth dating. A wrong first impression is very difficult to shake. Difficult but not impossible.

To truly understand what we are up against, we must know the difference between the mind of a man and a woman. A man constantly thinks about sex, where a woman sees friendship and loyalty. No matter what kind of relationship a man believes he has with a woman, whether he thinks its platonic or not, at least one time in the course of their friendship he will thought about her naked. What it would be like to roll around the sheets with her in one night of passionate lovemaking. If he were ever given the opportunity to act on it, such as a night of heavy drinking, and she came onto him, no man would ever turn it down. A woman is the complete opposite. She really does believe the two of you are really just good friends. That you truly do care about her and her happiness in life which includes her finding the perfect guy. If you never show any interest in her, then she won’t have any reason to think you want anything more then a friendship from her. When you finally come around and make your move it is too late. Any attempt for a relationship is gone. She will think you are acting strange when you start behaving in ways that are not normal with her pre conceived notions of you.

Now that we know what we are up against we have three options presented before us:

1. Do nothing and hope she confesses her love for you.

2. Man up and tell her our true feelings.

3. Forget about her and move on.

Let’s do a case study on each. If we do nothing and wait for her to come around, who knows how long we’ll be waiting. As she continues to date guy after guy, you sit back and wait for your opportunity. As you pass up on dates and potential girls you can date, your skills around women diminish. When the time finally comes around where you and your dream go can date, you are so awkward around her that you have no idea what to do and end up blowing everything. As you look back at the experience the only thing you have to show for it is two to three wasted years chasing after a relationship that was doomed from the start.

Option two is to come out and tell her how we feel. This isn’t Hollywood. It doesn’t matter how you tell her, a letter, a song, a romantic dinner. Any method you choose will come as a shock to her. She won’t know what to think and the end result is always bad. Once you tell her just how you feel, there is no going back. The friendship that you had is over. Now she feels awkward around you and so much so that she will want to be around you less and less until there is no more friendship. I'm not saying there is no chance of things working out for the two of you. I'm just saying that in our experience, it never works out the way that you have planned in your head and rarely does it end well in your favor.

Since option one and two dont’t work, that leaves option three as the only logical course of action. So what do we mean by this, forget about her and move on? This means spending less time with her. It means being able to say no to her requests. To get out there and start dating again. To use the teachings of this book against her.

As of right now you are her goto guy, Mr. Reliable. She can call up at any time knowing that you will drop whatever you are doing to help her out. This has got to stop. It doesn’t matter what excuse you give her, but very soon it will soon be because you are too busy dating other girls. This will make her realize that spending time with you is a privilege. Right now she takes your time for granted. The less time you spend with her, the more she will realize that the time she spends with you is meaningful.

Next we have to start dating. To your dream girl you have little worth. By not being surrounded by women it shows her that other females find no qualities in you that make it worth their time to date you. But who should you date? The best case scenario would be to date one of her friends. By dating her friend you get your very own publicist. When the two get together what do you think they’ll talk about. All this free advertising will soon make your dream girl realize just what a great catch you are. She will think, “Wow I had this great guy hanging around me this whole time, why didn’t I make the move when I had the chance.”

If you can't date one of her friends, then ask your dream girl to help set you up on a blind date herself. This can also get her intrigued. It shows her that you do want to date but she will start to question herself as to why you don't want to date her. Best case scenario she either sets you up with a friend as the scenario above, or she plays an awesome wingman and scores you a date with a hot chick at the bar.

Eventually as you continue to go on more dates, you will be spending less time with your friend. The close friend relationship that you did have will soon begin to fall apart as you spend more and more time away. She will long for that closeness that the two of you used to have. When this happens, you can now start to reprogram the way she thinks about you. Start applying the techniques we have taught you, flirting and building sexual chemistry. If you are now dating her friend, you are almost forbidden fruit to her. Any new found aggressiveness you show towards her, you can blame on your newly found confidence you've gained from dating other women. When the time is right, you can make your move and finally ask her out. Do not go into your past history how you have always loved her, instead play it cool telling her that by being out in the dating scene it has made you realize what qualaties you want in your partner. Tell her that the qualities you admire the most in a significant other keep coming back resembling a girl just like her and that you never realized it until now. This whole time you had an amazing girl in front of you minus the romantic interest. Act like this is some giant realization you've had over the course of your seperation and that you really want to see if there is any potential romantic spark between the two of you.

If she takes you up on your proposal, congratulations, you finally got her. If she turns you down, at least you finally know where you stand but this time there will be no major freak out on her part. If she does turn you down, don't sweat it. Continue your friendship but still flirt, banter her, and doing all the other stuff we talk about. Continue dating other girls and using her as your wingman. She may come around or she might not but at least we're not waiting on the side wondering if it will ever happen.