ABCs of Closing

“Always be closing” is a term used in sales that basically means, seal the deal. This is the attitude you need to adopt to be successful with women. Too often you will see a guy do everything right. He reads the target’s signals, makes his move and introduces himself. He builds sexual chemistry throughout the night through his body language, banter, and playful flirting. By definition of this book, he has done everything right. The girls are eating out of his hand, but when the lights come on and its time to go home, he goes home empty handed, without the girl, without a kiss goodbye, without a phone number to call the girl for a date.

After learning the proper techniques, beginners are usually surprised at how easy it becomes to talk to and build sexual attraction with women. They get so caught up in the moment they forget the most important part. They forget to seal the deal. This is a common mistake many beginners make. The ability to close on a consistent basis is what separates a beginner from a true master of pick up.

There is the guy who again does everything right. He knows that the target is his. He sees the signals and she’s wanting more, but he freezes. He is locked in fear. Fear of rejection, fear she doesn’t feel the same way, fear that she will laugh in his face, fear of being a bad kisser or a bad lover in bed. This fear over takes him and he never makes the move, he doesn’t get the girl. These are extreme situations but they happen everyday.

Closing has a different meaning for every individual. It is a way to evaluate your game and is a baseline from which to gauge your success. There are four distinct types of closing you can possibly accomplish. You can close with a phone number, a kiss, sex, or a long term relationship. Which one you use to gauge your success is entirely up to you. Some guys want to build a little black book full of hundreds of numbers and are content with nothing more than a phone number. Other guys enjoy making out with as many girls as they can. Some gauge their success on sexual conquests or notches on their bedpost and just want to sleep with anything that moves. The last type just want to use the teachings of this book to find a meaningful and long term relationship. Your personal goal, will dictate the type of closing you pursue, or it could be a combination of all four and you are down for whatever happens on a particular night.

Closing With a Number

I was standing in line at the grocery store waiting to buy a soda when this cute brunette with an amazing body gets in line behind me. She was wearing low cut jeans with a white midriff shirt revealing her belly button ring. She was just standing there teasing me, I wanted to see more. I was already running late so I didn’t have time to stop and run a proper routine on this girl, but there was no way I was going to pass up this opportunity. I turned to her and said, “This may seem out of place, but you’re really cute!” She looked at me in amazement as if she could not believe what I had just said. She blushed and looked down as if she didn’t know what to say. I said, “You are a really cute girl, I would love to take you out sometime. Can I get your phone number?” She wrote her number down and we talked for another couple of minutes while I paid for my soda. I ended up calling her the next day and met her for coffee that afternoon.

Closing with a phone number is nothing more than getting the girl’s phone number. Most guys make the mistake and think that you should wait until the very end of the night or the conversation to ask for the phone number. Why wait? You can’t predict what may or may not happen. One moment you can be enjoying a drink with the girl and before you know it, one of her girlfriends has an emergency and she is gone before you can react. Getting a phone number is easy. All you need to do is ask. Getting the girl’s phone number early in the night is beneficial in more ways then one. If you are bad with names, or couldn’t remember her name, she will either write it down when she gives you her number on paper, or if you give her your cell phone, she will add her name when she goes to type it in, that way you can find out her name without having to admit that you have forgotten it.

The best way to get a number is to directly ask for it. You can say something like, "I’m having a good time talking to you, can I get you number." Or say, "I should get back to my friends let me get your number so I can call or text you." Some people don’t like to be so direct. Here is a little trick you can use. Once you have been talking to a woman for a bit, you have built attraction and sexual chemistry, say to her, "I’m having a good time with you, we should do it again." Or, "You’re really fun, we should go out this week." In most cases she will say, "Yeah that would be good," and offer you her contact info. You don’t directly ask for her number, but it is the next logical step for her to give it to you, and she will.

Another thing you can do is to ask the girl if she has an email, twitter, instagram, or facebook account. While not as personal, it has rapidly become common for all correspondence to take place online. Since social accounts can be considered less personal than a phone number, a girl that is showing resistance to giving you her phone number may be more receptive to giving you this information instead. When she goes to give you her account information, either by writing it down or entering it into your phone, you have just planted the seed for her to be more recepetive to your requests. As she is entering in her information, tell her, “Okay now write your phone number below!” This is the old bait and switch routine.

Giving your phone number or contact information to a girl is not closing. Giving your phone number without getting hers in return is giving her all the power in the relationship. You are the one waiting by the phone, you will be the one wondering when she will call. This is not how an Alpha Male acts. Never leave anything to uncertainty. If she won’t give you her number, get up and walk away. There is nothing more to be gained from this interaction. Tell her, “It was nice meeting you.” Get up and move on and start looking for the next available girl. One of two things will happen: Either she will call you back over, not wanting you to leave, and give you her number; Or she will let you go, thus saving yourself the time spent on talking to a girl that does not show any interest in you. More often than not, if you are willing to show her you will walk away, she will cave into your demands. This is because you have just demonstrated your value, your dominance, that you do not have time to play games, and if she is not careful she could lose you. You may find girls that will call your bluff every once in a while, but the important thing is you didn't waste any more time on them. You moved on to another target, perhaps one that will give you her number, or even better, a woman who is planning on taking you home tonight.

If for some reason you are insistent on this particular girl who still won't give you her number, but will accept yours, there is still some hope. When she asks for your phone number, give it to her. When she finishes inputting your number into her phone tell her, "Now call me to make sure you put in right." If she calls to confirm you will now have her number, if she doesn't call you, I really don't think you can receive a bigger hint that she just isn't interested and you need to move on.

Closing With a Kiss

I was at the bar talking to a girl I had just met. I was using the girlfriend role play on her and she was just eating it up. She was getting ready to stand up to excuse herself for a moment when I told her, “What’s this love? No kiss goodbye?” And I pointed to my cheek. She gave me a peck on the cheek and I said to her, “We've just planned out our whole life together and that’s all I get?” She laughed and leaned into me giving me the kiss that I wanted. Needless to say she was back at my side before I was able to finish the rest of my drink and we spent the rest of the night together.

The second type of closing is the kiss close. This is simply kissing the target sometime during the night. Kiss closing usually involves a deeper connection with the target than what you would need to get her phone number. You have built up a high level of sexual attraction, developed good rapport, and have moved things to the next level. A kiss can be innocent, intimate, or passionate depending on the level of sexual chemistry you have built. Depending on your goals, a kiss close can either be the end state, or even better the beginning of a sex close.

Unknown to most, a kiss close is almost easier than a number close. A kiss is innocent and welcome, as long as you don’t try and force your tongue down her throat. Just be direct, tell her in a soft voice, “I want to kiss you right now.” If she hesitates move your face in front of hers for the kiss. Pause a few inches from her face. Take one last look at her. If her eyes are closed, her lips are parted, or her eyes are flickering back and forth, you have her approval. If she moves her head backwards call the kiss off. It is better to ask for forgiveness than ask for approval. As you move your face in slowly for the kiss, you build up anticipation in the target’s mind. The more anticipation you build up, the stronger the kiss. A quick kiss can come as a surprise, but a slow, deliberate kiss can seal the deal.

Let’s say you are nearing the end of a date. You know that you have built sexual chemistry and are pretty confident the girl is into you. You really want to kiss the girl but you have no idea how you are going to do it. You are thinking about it the whole ride home and you finally have an image in your head of how it’s going to go. You are going to walk her to the door and as you tell her goodnight she is going to pause and allow you to move in. When you finally reach her house you get out of the car as planned and walk her to her the door. Your plan is all coming together and when you are finally ready to go for it, she doesn’t pause, says goodnight and closes the door while you are left on the doorstep without your kiss. This is bad because if she was ready for a kiss and you didn't make a move, you may not get another chance. There will never be a perfect or a magic moment. Things just don't work like in the movies. However, it is very easy for you to create a moment that resembles something magical. When you’re walking to the door grab her by the hand. Look her in the eyes and pull her, by the hand, towards you. Then kiss her. It’s so easy. You can do that anywhere. Take her by the hand, look her in her eyes, and slowly move in for a kiss. You just created the moment.

A kiss close is dependent on your own personal preferences. Both Taylor and I will only kiss close if our goal is to have sex with the girl that night, otherwise we are both content with a number close and setting up a date for later that week. You can build just as much sexual chemistry without the kiss and it helps build the attraction for the upcoming date. A kiss close is again all about timing. Like getting the phone number, there is no reason to wait till the end or the perfect moment. If a kiss is all you are after, then let the anticipation build up, teasing her until you create the moment. If you are just going through the steps to get her into bed, try to kiss her within in the first fifteen minutes. That first fifteen minutes is important as it sets the tone for the rest of the night.

Closing in Her Bed

Taylor was dancing with a girl at a bar that he had just met that night. It was nearing the end of the night and up to that point the two had good conversation, built sexual chemistry, and created attraction. At some point in the night she had told him that she didn't kiss random guys from the bar and while they were dancing she reminded him, of that. As they continued to dance, Taylor positioned his face so that he was lightly breathing on her neck, near her ear. When he talked to her, he moved his face up closer to the side of her face, almost touching hers, so that their lips were on even par and she could feel his breath on her lips as he spoke. Taylor could tell it was really turning her on and at one point she even tried to kiss him. Taylor pulled away and reminded her, "You don’t kiss random guys at the bar." Then he went right back to talking to her the same way with his mouth close to hers. Essentially what Taylor was doing was creating this enormous sexual tension and chemistry. The girl ended up leaving with us and once we were in the car she couldn't keep her hands off Taylor. They made out the entire car ride home, and as we got to our house he led her back to his room.

The third type of closing is the sex close, sleeping with the girl. A sex close can be a one night stand from a girl you just met at the bar, or a girl you have went out with a few times. The sex close is getting the target in bed for a wild romp between the sheets. How does one move from a kiss close to a sex close? It all starts with physical contact. The quicker we are able to break the target’s touch barrier, the faster we can move in for the kiss. Once we combine the physical kissing with the sexual chemistry we have built up, the panties will be coming off in no time. If we can introduce ourselves, break the touch barrier, and the intimate zone, all within fifteen minutes of meeting her, she will have sex with you that night. It is not because she is easy. It is because we were able to develop a deep connection within that time. Over the rest of the night, that connection will only deepen, and she will feel as though she has known you forever. It’s all about making a woman feel comfortable with you on an intimate level. Really it’s the same feelings she would develop for you if you were to date for a while, only you are subconsciously speeding up the process.

A sex close normally moves in a back and forth linear pattern. After opening the target, we break the touch barrier and make physical contact, either deliberately, through a routine, or initiated by the target herself. We quickly expand on that contact and move into her intimate zone and steal a kiss. Tell her any of these lines, “I want to kiss you right now” “I am trying so hard not to kiss you right now,” “You want to kiss me don’t you?” Each one gets her thinking about kissing you, and if she is thinking about it, she will be acting on it. Once you start kissing, you need to continue to press further and further until you are back at either her place or yours. This will proceed in a back and forth motion. You start kissing her neck, try taking off her clothes. If she stops you, you don't fight it and you go back to kissing. After two or three minutes, you try to get her shirt off again and you do , but she won’t let you take off her bra. You start rubbing her breasts through her bra, increasing her arousal and after a few minutes, you try to take off her bra again. This continues in a back and forth until all clothes are off, removing each article of clothing one piece at a time. You are always moving forward, constantly advancing, and all the while increasing her arousal. Every once in a while, you've built so much sexual chemistry with a particular girl that when it comes time for the actual sex, the two of you are pratically ripping each others clothes off. Though we have found this scenario is more common amongst women we have gone out with three or four times prior and thus have a deeper connection with. That or just happened to meet up with a girl whose down to fuck and probably using us just as much as we are using them.

This is why those first fifteen minutes is so important if you want to have sex with a girl that night. You have programmed her to respond quickly to you. Everything moves at a fast pace. She will be caught up in the moment, the excitement. It is new and exciting to her. The fact that someone can make her act and feel this way in such a short time, most women will feel empowered and let this moment happen. It’s quick, it’s spontaneous, and it’s a story she can take back to her friends to make them all jealous. She will like you because you are taking charge. You are the Alpha Male. She is succumbing to your dominance and her natural born instincts to be dominated by the Alpha Male. It has been hardwired into her physiology over the last three thousand years, to submit to you and her desires.

The fifteen minutes, however, is just a guideline. The point is that you want to make a woman feel comfortable with you, in an intimate way, within a short amount of time. Just because you were unable to get a kiss in that time, does not mean she won’t sleep with you. But, if sex is your primary goal, then you also not waste your time with women that are not going to go home with you and prefer the more traditional courtship.

Closing Into a Relationship

No matter how hard I tried, there was always one girl that would enter my mind before the others. I would catch myself dialing her number or making plans with her for the rest of the week. I barely even noticed the other girls around me when I went out with my friends. I was in trouble, I was smitten, I was in a relationship.

The final type of closing is the relationship close. While it is great to have casual sex, or go out with a different girl every night of the week, you are just not able to develop the same kind of connection as you would with a steady girlfriend. Ultimately, dating is nothing more than being able to find out the qualities you prefer in a woman prior to settling down. Everything from looks, to personality, to personal goals, and family values, dating is a selection process where we find out what traits we want in a life time partner through first hand experience. What you may think you are attracted to, turns out to be a major problem once you are around it on a constant basis. Dating is important. Consider it a science experiment with you as a test subject. The only way to truly know the qualities we find attractive in a mate, is find out ourselves through trial and error.

Starting a relationship is relatively easy after all the other work you have put to get into this situation, just keep your expectations open and honest. There is no reason to lie or make up stories to the different girls you are dating. You can be involved with one, two, ten girls. As long as you are honest with each one there will less drama and problems than if you try to keep everything under wraps. If a girl demands that the two of you be exclusive, then you must make that choice yourself. But be aware that any girl that demands anything in a relationship, you should take that as a red flag and a sign of things that may come if you do become exclusive. If she wants to control you now, she will be controlling in the relationship and will soon start demanding that you stop spending time with your friends or girls that just happen to be friends.

The reason why we tell the women that we date that you see other girls, is because of the level of competition it brings out in some women. They want to be the only one for you, and they will do everything in their power to make you see that. When you finally do decide to be exclusive with one girl, talk to her about it. Just because you have dropped contact with all the other girls does not mean she has done the same with other guys she has been dating before you. Most guys will assume that if she spends all her time with you that the feelings are shared and are shocked to find out she has been seeing someone else on the side. If you want her, let her know. Tell her, “I’ve really enjoyed dating you these last couple of weeks. I want to put it out in the open that I want to date you exclusively and want you to do the same.” If she says no, then keep showing her the qualities that we have taught you, and she will realize no other guy out there compares to you. Most importantly continue to date other girls. This is to not only keep your game sharp, but if things don’t work out, it will prevent you from developing oneitis. If a relationhip is meant to happen it will work itself out as the two of you grow closer together. If she does not feel the same towards you, do not develop “oneitis” for this girl. Oneitis is where you stop going out and you stop dating other girls as you wait for one particular girl to come around to you. This will only show you as needy and lacking the qualities of the Alpha Male. It will drive her further away from you. Dating is a game, you must be willing to play and fight dirty if you want to come out on top.

We should mention the other main reason for keeping your dating history open and honest with the girls you date is because of the exposure of STDs. Both partners in a sexual relationship should be aware of the risks they are exposed to with all of their sexual partners. You don't need to give a full history of every girl you've slept with or go into detail on every guy they've been with, but there is absolutley nothing wrong with asking or telling someone when the last time you or they were tested. If you've built up the sexual chemistry like we know you will from reading this book, add in a night of drinking, and a girl who is ready to go, stopping to put a condom on will probably be the furthest thought in your mind. So don't be afraid to bring it up.

Of the four types of closings, the phone number is the most important. It is the only sure fire way of being able to get a hold of the girl at a later date. If you want to setup a future date, you must be able to get a hold of her somehow. Going to her place of work to ask her out each date or running into her at the bar on a consistent basis is not going to cut it. While it can be mysterious the first or second time, it tells the target that you have something to hide and throws up a red flag. To some extent closing can be a linear process, but not necessarily all four stages one after another. If your goal is to have a relationship, then you would start off by getting her number. Get a kiss on the next date and then after a few more dates you decide to start an exclusive relationship. You did A and B to get to D. Sex is not a determining factor if you have a relationship or not. If your main goal was to have sex with the girl and nothing more, such as a one night stand, you can skip the phone number altogether and start off with a kiss. The kiss will lead to more and eventually back to the bedroom where you can sex close. In this case we only went through step B to get to C. You cannot move directly to a sex close without a kiss or a relationship close without having to get a phone number. If you don’t plan on finishing, you never should have started in the first place, so always be closing.