Processing

Over the course of your life you have met people that you get along with really well, people that you “click with,” people that it was easy to be around from the very start. When building chemistry or rapport, people are drawn to others that are the same as them; people like other people like themselves. You and your good friends probably enjoy doing the same activities. Maybe you are into the same sports, enjoy working on cars, or get together and game all night long. You probably like the same kinds of music. That is why you are all good friends. It is easy to be around each other because you like the same things. It's the same thing with women. You usually get along with women you have things in common with. That makes sense.

What you may not be aware of, is that you are probably communicating in the same processing language too. Meaning that you both process information in the same dominant way. You are both visual, auditory, or kinesthetic. You have also met people in your life, that for whatever reason, that you don’t like, you clash with on a constant basis. People whom the first few minutes of meeting them you don’t like them, but you didn’t really have a reason for not liking them. With these people you were most likely having trouble communicating with them in the same processing language.

The first thing you need to understand is that people process the world in different ways. The way they perceive and interpret stimulus is different. The three main ways people process information is visually, auditory, and kinesthetically. It is important to note that people process information predominantly in one of these three ways, but everyone uses all three ways to process information. The why is not important to us. What is important is that you understand people process information differently. Think of it in terms of speaking a different language. You are in a group of three people. One speaks Spanish, one German, and the other French. You can speak all three of these languages fluently. You wouldn't speak Spanish to the German girl, and you wouldn't speak French to the Spanish girl. You would speak to each of them in their own language. The same concept applies here instead of a spoken word, you are communicating in their dominate processing language. To connect with someone quickly or build sexual chemistry quickly, you need to find out how that person processes information and communicate with them in their dominant processing language.

Visual Processing

The majority of the population processes the world in a visual manner. They process and make sense of the world primarily with their eyes. You would recognize a visual communicator by specific words they use to describe things. That looks fun, the beach looked awesome, imagine that, you see what I mean, that asshole is shady, that girl is sexy, her ass looks good in those pants, her boobs are huge, look at them bounce. It is easy to spot a visual person because everything they say is; see this, see that, is looked, she looked, they looked... Everything is visual in nature. When a visual person thinkgs, their thoughts are formed as pictures in their head and then express those thoughts through visually descriptive words.

Auditory Processing

Auditory people process the world through sounds and what they hear. They express their thoughts with sound specific words. That sounds fun, listen to the ocean, her voice is like a bird singing, she sounds..., can you hear the..., that’s loud, they're noisy, that was harsh. An auditory person hears the world, sight is usually secondary to an auditory processor. Take a look at the first example I used for both Visual and Auditory Processing; that looks fun, and that sounds fun. The message I am trying to get across is the same but the descriptive word I used is different. I used looks as a visual descriptive word, and sounds as an auditory descriptive word. Both examples are saying, "That would be fun." However, in each case you are speaking a different processing language. You may have noticed in the first sentence of this paragraph I used the descriptive word look. Clearly I am a visual processor.

Kinesthetic Processing

Kinesthetic people process the world through touch and feeling. They are more emotionally sensitive than the other two types. Kinesthetic people would express themselves with words like; can you feel it, the energy in the room, the sun feels hot, the water is freezing cold, her boobs felt nice, I bet she fucks like an animal. In that sense, "fuck" being a feeling. They rationalize the world based on how they are feeling.

Like we said before, it is not important that you understand the actual differences between these types of people. The important thing is to realize people speak different processing language, and to build chemistry with them, you need be "like" them. It is also important that you are able to identify what processing language they speak. To do this listen to the descriptive words they use when talking to you. It's not by happenstance that people use the descriptive words they do. They use the words that they think will best express themselves verbally or project to you the way they are currently feeling. It makes sense that a visual person would chose visual words to express their thoughts to you. That's how they process the world, visually. Same goes for an auditory through audial words or kinesthetic processor through descriptive feelings.

Just like in the examples above, the descriptive words used in everyday conversation will reveal a person's main processing language. Seems easy right? That’s the point. It is easy. So if it makes perfect sense that a person would express themselves in a way that was congruent with how they perceive the world, doesn't it make sense that they would feel more comfortable with someone that perceived the world in that same way? A person that was "like" them. Going back to the example above, of the three women each speaking a different language, you wouldn't try and have a normal conversation with them in another language. So why, in the realm of building sexual chemistry, would you speak in a visual processing language to a girl who processes information in an auditory way? Or speak auditory words to a woman whose predominant way of processing is kinesthetic? You wouldn't.

Converstation Examples

You’ve opened a girl, maybe a little thrown a little banter, storytelling, whatever around, and you are getting to know each other. At this point, early in the conversation, you should be listening for key descriptive words she uses to determine what kind of processor she is. Remember, it doesn’t matter if you process the world in the same way that she does. It matters that you identify her main processing language and communicate with her using that language. After you determine what type of processor she is, begin speaking to her in that language. If she is speaking using visual descriptive words, then you should be trying to speak using visual words too. This will be the basic concept of being able to create an instant connection to you, ultimately building up sexual chemistry.

Her: I went to Mexico for spring break.
You: Oh really, where did you go?
Her: We went to Cabo.
You: I’ve been there twice what was your favorite part?

Here I just asked a question that allows her to answer using descriptive words.

Her: The beach, the way sand looked, the color of the water, how clear it was.

In this sentence she used looked, color, and clear as clues to the way she dominantly processes information. So you would want to talk to this person using visual comments.

In this case I might respond like this:

You: The beaches there are beautiful, the sand is so white and the blue green color of the ocean. It's not like the beaches here in America.

I just responded using her processing language. If I continued to speak to her like this she would feel a "closeness" to me and her walls would begin to come down. She will start to feel an unexplained attraction to me. That is because we are building sexual chemistry.

Let’s say she responded in a different way, maybe she said:

Her: The beach, the water was so warm, and the sand felt between my toes.

In this case she is a kinesthetic processor. She is using words that correspond with touch; water was warm, sand felt.

I may respond by saying something like:

You:: I remember that too. The sand felt so hot though, it was always burning my feet. The water is nice though. Nothing like the ocean here. It’s freezing here.

Again, I'm speaking her language. Here's an auditory scenario:

Her: The beach, the sound of the ocean, the crashing of the waves, even the noise of all the people didn't bother me. It was like heaven.
You: When we were there, some kid was following us with a loud boom box. That’s all we could hear. Even though none of us could speak the langauge, the kid was playing the same three or four songs on repeat. After a while our group at least knew the chorus to two of the songs and we would start singing along.

Clearly this person is an auditory processor. If you noticed, I even worked in some story telling there. These concepts are not complicated you just need to practice using them. Practice identifying people's processing language and then speak back to them in their language with anyone you have a conversation with on a daily basis; at work, at the coffee shop, at the grocery store. The more you practice doing this, the better you will get and before long you will do it automatically. This is a skill that will help you in all areas of life, not just in pick up. If you are still having trouble understanding why this would work, stop worrying about that. It doesn’t matter why it works, and the why is very complicated. Instead, just accept it as true. You are connecting with this person on a subconscious level. You are building, creating rapport, or "sexual chemistry." At this point some of you may be a bit skeptical. Maybe the concept is a little confusing, or it doesn't make sense that this would work, or maybe that it just seems too sipmple or too easy to actually work. That's the point it is easy. It's a skill many of us possess and have already perfected but don't actually know about. You have used this skill everyday, but were just unaware of exactly what it was you were doing. For others, you have the tools to use the skill, you just need to practice. To put those tools to use and make it part of your everday conversation.

For the people who still find this hard to believe, let’s try a totally different approach. Have you ever been to, or heard a psychologist or counselor talk to someone? If not, how about a TV show or movie that portrays that setting? The counselor would always say, "So what you're saying is" and then they repeat what the other individual had just said. Or they will say, "Let me get this straight. I want to make sure I understand what you mean," and repeat what was said. That is what they are trained to say. They went to school for six to eight years to learn how to talk to someone in a way that would allow that person to open up to them, let their guard down, and strip away the walls so that they can then get to the underlying issues. That is the same concept we have introduced to you.